


a predicament.

by Ginny_theQueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, James Potter is a feminist, POV Lily Evans Potter, POV Sirius Black, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Starflower, can you believe I'd written multiple proposals but no pregnancy fics before this??, come for the jily stay for the lily/sirius bromance, jily, jilyoctober, the pregnancy announcement fic no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26998636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny_theQueen/pseuds/Ginny_theQueen
Summary: Godric's Hollow, winter 1979.James has been gone on an undercover Order mission for over a month. Lily lets Sirius in on a secret. Only, it's not so little.// PART TWO IS UP!James is back.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Happy #JilyOctober, fam! This will be the first part in a new short series I'll publish this month.

Lily was pacing.  
For twenty minutes she had been pacing the hall of the empty house she now called home, the chill in her bones inescapable despite the old Quidditch jersey and the big shawl she wore. Despite the lit fireplace whose flames cast long shadows across the room.  
He was late. Again.  
She told herself it was nothing, that this was Sirius, he was always late, but Lily couldn’t shake the feeling that for every time she thought that, she might be proven wrong the next. She resumed her pacing after staring at the grandfather clock next to the door. She considered calling Alice and Frank, alerting the Order, then thought against it. She was just being paranoid. Sirius wasn’t even that late yet.  
When she finally heard a knock on the door twenty minutes later, from when she had gone to rest on the couch, it startled her, as if it wasn’t the sweetest sound she’d heard all month.  
She practically ran to the door, then remembered to be cautious.  
“Come on, Evans,” a voice bellowed from outside. “It’s freezing out here. I’ll hold you accountable for my d—“  
Nearly in tears at the sound of his voice, his tone (surely a Death Eater would not be able to impersonate him so well), Lily opened the door.  
“Hello, Padfoot.”  
He stood at the door, with no intention to move inside despite his previous statement. “Aren’t you going to ask me to prove my identity?”  
Lily gave him a warm smile, which he mirrored. “No Death Eater could possibly be this annoying on purpose.”  
“Thinking of it, I’m logically the one they would choose to impersonate. Devilishly handsome, you know.”  
Lily feigned boredom but made a show of holding her wand a little tighter.  
“Oh, fine. Third year, what did I put in your pumpkin juice on Easter Sunday?”  
Sirius’s eyes widened. “Third year, how am I supposed to remember that? I didn’t have a crush on you, Evans, I don’t remember every single interaction we’ve had in the past decade.”  
Lily snorted, but gave him a clue. “It made you sick for three days and James went around playing nurse for an entire week after that.”  
Sirius pretended to think about it for a second.  
“Nothing. Because it wasn’t you. It was Marlene who put some muggle concoction in my pumpkin juice which gave me an allergic reaction.”  
Lily threw her arms around his neck. “See?” she said, as he hugged her tight. “I told you, no Death Eater would impersonate you. Come on, you idiot, don’t stand out here in the freezing cold. I don’t want to be held accountable for your death and have to explain it to James when he gets back.”  
Sirius kept his arm around her middle as they moved inside. Lily shivered. Raindrops fell to the stone floor and stain the scarlet carpet in the entrance as Sirius took his leather jacket off and sent it to the tall coat-rack on the far left of the hall.  
In that moment silence, the absence of James, the person they shared, their most beloved, was almost deafening. The two of them had done a great job pretending his absence wasn’t the reason why Sirius had been coming over every other night for the past month.  
Lily broke their routine and their silence, for once, taking Sirius’s usual cue. “You could’ve used a spell for the rain, you know?”  
“Nah, I like feeling the raindrops on me.”  
Lily suppressed a chuckle. “You are a dog.”  
At this point, they would usually settle on the sofa and turn this into a small Order meeting of sorts, comparing information of what they’d seen on patrol, piecing things together and writing a report for Dumbledore. Sometimes they would listen to muggle records for hours instead, cast a silencing charm on the house and sing off-tune to entire rock albums. Afterwards they would make dinner, then proceed to play cards until it was time for Sirius to leave and for Lily to try to sleep.  
He grinned now. “No unofficial Order duty tonight. Let’s make some tea, shall we?” He must have sensed something was off. At Lily’s nod, he continued. “Let’s switch things up a bit this time. I’ll start on the kettle, you go get the china cups, you know the ones. Are they still in the —?”  
“Cupboard in the music room, right where Mrs Potter left them.” The smile Lily gave him wasn’t forced at all. “Damn, it’s really weird to think that you’ve lived here longer than me.”  
“It’s really weird that you’re Mrs Potter now,” Sirius retorted, and Lily supposed he was right. 

There was no place where Sirius felt quite at home - save for Hogwarts, of course - as he did at the Potters’ house in Godric’s Hollow. Even after all these years. He supposed it was cliche to say that this was the place of his heart, but it was true. Grimmauld Place had never felt like home, only a cage. The London flat he was currently staying in was just a place he retired to when he needed to sleep. A place to Apparate to at the end of the day when he knew his friends were safe. He spent more time in the streets and at his friends’ houses than there. But here in Godric’s Hollow he had lived all his good memories, all the memories Sirius associated with family. He was pondering this fact as he absentmindedly hummed a muggle rock song he knew Lily liked. The kettle was almost ready, so he moved to the left cupboard to retrieve the sugar and scones when he heard a shriek come from the other room.  
Startled, and already in motion, he called, “Lily?”  
He only relaxed when he found her on the floor of the music room, one teacup in her hand, the other on the floor. It had clearly escaped her grasp. It still didn’t explain why she was crying.  
“Are… are you hurt?” He sat on the ground in front of her.  
Lily shook her head. “This one can’t say the same,” she managed to get out, picking up the chipped teacup from the floor.  
“We have magic for that.” He took the injured object from her hand with a delicacy that shocked even himself, muttered a reparo, and gave it back. “Here you go, love. Good as new.”  
Lily shook her head again. Sirius decided to move next to her, his back against the furniture. He murmured an incantation and sure enough a moment later the kettle, tea and scones came flying towards them from the kitchen, depositing themselves on the floor before them. That earned him a smile from Lily.  
This wasn’t about the bloody cup.  
“Lily,” he said, looking in those green eyes that could pierce souls. “He’s all right.”  
“We don’t know that. We can’t know that.”  
“He’s fine,” he repeated, because it was the only thing tethering him to the ground. Sirius had sworn he would keep it together, when James left for this mission. He had promised himself and his brother. He would be here for Lily. And then James would come back from this mission. It would be soon now, Sirius suspected.  
So Sirius silently poured Lily some tea.  
“Padfoot,” she called after a long minute. “I’m in a predicament.”  
“I want you to tell me about it,” he said, hugging her once more. “But I’m going to need you to stop crying, Flower. You know I don’t know what to do around crying girls, and it’s making me uncomfortable. Also, what would your husband say if he came home right now and found you like this?”  
That earned a weak chuckle from Lily. “Probably that I need a stronger drink…”  
That was good, he could work with that. “That your very good mate Padfoot is going to summon.”  
“—because he doesn’t know that I can’t drink anything stronger than tea at the moment.”  
Sirius felt his eyes widen. “And why in Godric’s name is that?”  
Lily took a deep breath. “Because I’m at least two months pregnant and he’s been gone for one and I don’t know what he’ll say or do when he finds out.”  
Sirius was about to ask her the obvious question, but Lily stopped him with a glare. “Don’t you dare ask me if it’s his.”  
“It’s scary how well you know me, Evans.”  
“It’s Potter.”  
That earned a grin from him. “When did you find out?”  
“I’ve started suspecting the week after he left, but I’ve only known for sure since Monday. Me and my perfect timing.”  
“And you’re worried because…?”  
“Because this wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to be impossible.”  
He knows what she’s referring to all too well. When she was taken by the Death Eaters two years ago, they had tortured her, some parts of her beyond saving. The healers at St. Mungo’s had told her she might never be able to bear children. It was the first item in a long list of reasons why he hated his eldest cousin the most among Voldemort’s followers. Bellatrix had done this deliberately and Sirius would one day kill her for it. She had taken something from Lily, from James even, and Sirius would never forget or forgive. Sirius had never wanted kids, but he knew James had. Until that point, that was. And yet, neither of them had mourned the possibility they had lost, because it was Lily they loved above everything, certainly not her ability to produce spawns.  
He knew all too well, but he pretended not to, because he was here to help.  
“Evans, I’m sure you know exactly how this happened. Now, I have no interest hearing about the activities you and James get to at night after I leave, but the nerve that you have at being surprised—“  
He stopped because she had started playfully hitting his arm and shoulder. After they had succumbed to laughter like they had when they were children, eleven and sitting on the floor of Gryffindor Common Room that time James had received a Howler, Sirius asked: “Are you sure?”  
“Yes. I wasn’t, but now I am. I brew a potion and then I took a muggle test for good measure.”  
“Both positive, I assume?”  
“Yep.”  
“Blimely,” Sirius said, and the thought, the enormity of it, finally hit him. “Congrats, Red. I’m happy for you.”  
“I don’t know if I’m happy about this, Padfoot. To bring a child into this mess, this war… I think I would be a rubbish mother anyway, but in true Potter fashion, this child has chosen to enter stage at the most wrong possible moment.”  
“That’s an understatement.” Sirius considered the situation. She was, as always, right. It would be hard, and dangerous, but Sirius vowed in that moment he would do everything in his power to make it less so.  
“Wow,” he muttered. “We’re going to become parents.”  
“Padfoot, I really don’t know how to break it to you, but you’re not this child’s father. I would know.”  
“Don’t be silly now, Flower. Of course I’m this child’s father. So are Moony and Wormy.”  
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a miniature Marauder,” she confessed.  
“Fuck yes, you are. You manage four.”  
Lily hit him playfully again. “No swearing around my child, or they’ll pick up all of your bad habits before they’re even in the world.”  
“Whatever you say, Mum.”  
Sirius felt his smile widen. A predicament indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James comes home and needs to be told the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always had a problem with how reckless it was for Lily and James to choose to have a baby at 20 years old and in the middle of the war, and I refuse to stan a couple who doesn't support the idea of contraception or abortion (muggle or magical), so this is my take on why things went the way they did, and Lily and James chose to keep Harry.

Sirius was hovering.   
Since Lily had revealed — confessed — her pregnancy, her husband’s best friend had forgotten all manners of propriety, let alone personal space.   
Not that Lily minded about either, especially when it came to Sirius, but it surely would have given his dear old mum a heart attack to see her firstborn, once the heir to the noble and most ancient house of Black, give a pregnant muggle-born witch from working-class Surrey the third foot rub in the past hour. Lily chuckled softly. And the baby wasn’t even his.   
“Whatcha laughing at, Evans?”   
“I’m going to miss having you around when James returns,” she confessed. “There are certain perks to your friendship I wasn’t privy to, before I became pregnant.” She pointed at his hands on her socked feet to accentuate her point.   
Sirius gave her a warm smile as he did every time someone mentioned James returning from his Order mission. “Any day now.” He shifted his torso from where he was sitting on the couch — with her nestled between the armrest and his body, feet on his lap — to offer her more tea from the side table. Lily accepted it gladly.   
“Are you nervous about telling him?”   
It wasn’t the first time he asked her, and she gave him a different answer each night. After the first time, Sirius had silently respected her undecidedness and had avoided talking about the baby as if it were a certainty. Avoided talking about himself as the uncle to the younger Potter and just focused on her physical and emotional wellbeing. She loved him all the more for it.   
Lily sighed. Tonight was a ‘no’ night.   
“Honestly?” Lily said after taking a sip. “I just want him back. Whatever he thinks, whatever I feel… we’ll deal with it together, and that’s all I want.”   
“He’ll be happy, Flower, you’ll see.”   
“I just— don’t even know how to tell him. How do I start that conversation? ‘Welcome home, honey, I haven’t seen you in six weeks and good news, I’m pregnant even though I had told you I was as good as barren!’” She threw her hand that wasn’t holding the teacup to the sky.   
“It sounds good enough to me,” Sirius said.   
It didn’t sound good enough to her. Lily wasn’t even sure she wanted this child that had taken root inside her. Her husband was another matter entirely.   
“Padfoot, I would’ve gone mad without you these weeks.” She passed him the cup, which he gently set on the table, and then hugged him. He held her and patted her back.   
“I would do anything for you, Lil,” he said, and she knew he wasn’t referring just to her anymore. “And this is hardly a chore. I enjoy spending time with you, and hope you know I will become a permanent fixture on this couch even after Prongs comes back.”   
“Only if you learn to cohabitate with Crookshanks. I’m not looking him up again just so you can sleep peacefully.”   
“That cat is a foul fiend!”   
“You like to aggravate him on purpose. And he senses Padfoot. Wormtail’s also uncomfortable around him, you know,” she said almost absentmindedly.   
Sirius changed the subject. That cat was a lost cause anyway, and Lily would never admit he was right. “Pretend that I’m Prongs. Tell me.”   
Lily made a face. “This is weird. How can I pretend you’re him?”   
“I don’t know, close your eyes or something. Just focus on what you have to say. I’ll give you my best James answer.”   
Lily obliged and kept her eyelids shut for a few seconds. “Still weird.” She adjusted on the sofa so that she was lying horizontally, head on his lap. “Okay, let’s skip the reunion where I jump him, make sure he’s all right, kiss him, and then forbid him to leave on a mission without me ever again.”   
Sirius chuckled. “You’re magnanimous. Say you do this over dinner. How do you begin?”   
“See, a normal husband would ask me how I’ve been, but that’s not James.” Her eyes were still closed, and she was shaking her head. “No, he’ll ask you how I’ve been.”   
“Touché,” Sirius conceded. “At which point, I’ll tell him—“   
“Don’t you dare, Sirius Black.”   
“Ouch,” he muttered at her little fist attack. “Christ, I’m only joking. I wouldn’t spoil the surprise. It’s not my place, I know that.” He smiled. “Even if I’ll tease him endlessly about missing the first morning sickness and how I was the one to witness and clean up the royal vomit.”   
“You’re an idiot. Okay. James, darling, there’s something I —“   
Sirius interrupted her. “First of all, you don’t even call him darling.”   
She opened her eyes now and met his. “You don’t know that!”   
“I do know that. And besides, that’s the worst way to introduce the matter.”   
She scoffed and tried again. “James, something happened.”   
“Has someone died? Second worst way to lead in.”   
“All right, how would you start this conversation, since you’re the expert?”   
“You’re overthinking this.”   
“Of course I’m overthinking this!”   
“Calm down. Don’t get angry at me, I’m not the one who did the impossible and knocked you up.” He brightened. “There it is. ‘James, you’ve once again beaten the odds.’”   
“I don’t see why we’re making this about him performing some sort of miracle?”   
Sirius had no reply to that, but her stomach growled. Sirius moved in an instant, disentangled himself from her and stood up.   
“It’s late. Let me put some food in you. Perhaps inspiration will strike.”   
Despite everything, Lily beamed at him. He was incorrigible, but he was her steadfast and true and she wondered, not for the first time that year, what she had done to deserve not just James’s love, but Sirius’s friendship as well. 

It was after Lily was done with dessert as Sirius was flawlessly catching grapes in his mouth that they heard it.   
The front door.   
Lily did not receive half as many visits as she might have liked these days, and it could have been any of their friends or neighbors paying calling on her, but Lily instantly knew it wasn’t.   
Sirius did too, apparently, because he missed a grape as he the sound reverberated through the house. The two of them locked eyes, all laugher suddenly forgotten.   
“It’s him,” she said simply, and jolted out of her kitchen chair.   
“Lily, be careful,” Sirius said as he followed her. “Ask him three questions.”   
“That seems excessive.” She was in front of the door now, and spied the holiest of visions through the keyhole.   
James was back. In that instant, she forgot about her anxiety and the pregnancy and even Sirius standing behind her, his body pressed into hers, hands on her wrists in an admonitory gesture. “We’ll ask him one each,” he compromised. Lily looked at him and saw he too could barely contain his excitement. She thought it was funny, a month ago the situation would have been reversed, with him taking stupid risks and her beckoning him to be cautious. “Okay.”   
She opened the door, and her husband smiled at the sight of her and Sirius, taking them both in. Lily scanned his appearance, he seemed fine. His clothes were a bit unkept, but he didn’t look hurt.   
“James,” she whimpered. His smile grew, but he didn’t move.   
“You need to identify me,” he reminded her.   
“Very well…” she knew what she was going to ask him. “When did you propose?”   
“The entire Hogwarts population witnessed that, Lily, that’s not a secret,” Sirius interjected.   
But James smiled, and although she’d had no doubt it was him from the start, her heart swelled at the sight and confirmation. “No Padfoot. That was the public one. I accidentally asked Lily to marry me the same day Frank proposed to Alice.”   
Lily leaped forward, meaning to land in James’s arms, but Sirius held her back. “My turn,” he said apologetically. To James, he asked, “First year. How did we get Peeves to trust us?”   
James didn’t need to think. “September 5th. We set fire to Filch’s archives.”   
Sirius laughed and released Lily. “Sorry, brother. Had to ask.”   
Theoretically, James was meant to ask them questions in return, to make sure no one was impersonating them. She didn’t care, though, as her body slammed against his, his arms roaming from her hair, her shoulders, her back. She felt Sirius reach out and lay his own hand on James’s, before James clasped his best friend and brought him closer, until Lily was delicately sandwiched between them, careful not to let her nonexistent bump touch James.   
“Welcome home, Prongs.”   
“I’ve missed you both like crazy,” James said as he motioned they go inside.   
“How was the mission?” Sirius asked.   
“I’ll have to go report to Dumbledore shortly,” James said gravely.   
“Like hell you are,” retorted Lily finally disentangling herself from her husband to look him in the eyes. “I haven’t seen you in six weeks and Dumbledore thinks he can have you on your first night back?”   
“I have to, my heart.”   
“Dumbledore will understand,” said Sirius. “Let’s send him a Patronus now, you can go see him in the morning.”   
Once the silver stag was gone, the three of them sat cozily on the couch, James between his wife and best friend.   
“Can you tell us about it?” Lily asked.   
“Not yet,” James said apologetically. “Not until I talk to Dumbledore and he gives me clearance to divulge. But everything is fine. I’m fine, I promise.”   
Lily knew that on any other night, it would have killed her not to ask him about his month-long mission. But tonight she had even more pressing things on her mind. She was reminded of this fact just as Sirius was, apparently, because he abruptly stood up and faced them. “You must be tired. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Let me bring you some tea.” With that, he disappeared through the kitchen door, leaving a speechless James and an even more nervous Lily, who did her best to conceal her state for the time being. She just wanted to be with him for a minute before shattering the calm.   
“Okay, what’s wrong with Padfoot?” James asked.   
For the first time in a long time, Lily lied to her husband. “He probably just wanted to leave us alone so I could do this,” she said and climbed easily on his lap to give him a sound kiss on the lips, the first in over a month.   
James’s arms automatically wrapped around her, his hands nestling in her hair. They stayed cocooned in their warm embrace for several minutes, until Sirius came back bearing yet another tray of tea and scones.   
“At least wait until I’m out of the door, you crazy kids.”   
James laughed at that as Lily disentangled herself, but he kept her seated on him. She wanted to be as close to James as she could, but she knew she would have to move out of his grasp soon, lest he grazed his hands on her abdomen again and she inevitably flinched. Sirius passed a cup first to him and then to her, before sitting back down on the couch.  
“Is this my mother’s tea? Godric, I’ve missed it.” 

They didn’t talk much for a while as the three of them drank in each other’s company. When all the teapots had been removed, Lily abruptly stood up from where she’d perched on the armrest to tower over both of them. James had made a sound of protest when she’d moved, but Sirius thought he himself had a clue what this was about.   
“I will be right back,” Lily said, making for the first floor and, Sirius knew, the bathroom.   
“Padfoot,” James murmured predictably as he watched her climb the steps. “How has she been?”   
Bingo. She had been right, of course. 20 points to Evans.   
Sirius suddenly found himself tongue-twisted. He couldn’t lie to James. But it was not his place to tell. A joke, he needed a joke. Quick, anything…   
“Pad?” James asked again after a few seconds. “You’re worrying me. Is there anything I should know?”   
“Yes!” Sirius finally said overdramatically. “In your absence I have taken up residence here once again and Lily and I have entered a tumultuous, passionate love affair.”   
James shoved him playfully. “My best mate, my brother? And my wife? The betrayal!” But the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and after a moment he added, in a much lower, deeper tone. “I was gone longer than I thought I’d be. Was she sick with worry?”   
Yep. Sirius nodded, as if in a trance. “Every fucking day,” he murmured, almost imperceptibly.   
“What?” James asked.   
“She was sick every day.”   
“What do you mean sick?”   
“Like sick sick. You know, when the contents of your stomach don’t stay—“   
“Godric, really?” James was clearly shocked. “What if she has something? Have you taken her to a healer? How long has this been going on?”   
Sirius responded without thinking. “Well, technically speaking, since before you left.”   
For the second time in a minute, James’s “what?” echoed in the hall. “She wasn’t sick when I left.”   
Sirius knew he was in trouble. “James, calm down. She’s not really sick. Not in the way you think. She’s just—“   
“SIRIUS!” Lily had returned from her trip to the bathroom. She gave him a terrifying glare. He looked at her like a scared puppy.   
“She’s just…?” James wanted to know, head going back and forth between the two people he loved the most in the world.   
Lily had felt the panic after the tea. Not that Mrs. Potter’s tea had upset her stomach, it was just her anxiety. This wasn’t how James was supposed to find out. She took a deep breath and looked pointedly at Sirius.   
“She’s just what?” James demanded again, his voice louder this time. “Merlin, Lily, look at me!”   
She froze. She turned her head, met his eyes, and froze.   
“Lily,” James called again, a bit softer this time. “Are you okay? Are you…?” Hurting, Lily decided her husband was going to ask. She never knew that for certain, though. Because…   
“Pregnant!” Sirius yelled. “She’s pregnant.”   
Lily wanted to strangle Sirius, but all in all, he had effectively broken the tension in the room.   
James’s head whipped first to Sirius, then back to Lily, confused. “What?” Shocked registered on his elegant features. “How? St. Mungo’s said…”   
“Well, St. Mungo’s was clearly wrong,” Sirius said when he realized Lily still couldn’t speak. “Trust me, I’ve been here every day since we found out, and your wife is definitely carrying your spawn.” Then, because he was Sirius, and James was home and he didn’t have to be the responsible one anymore, he added, “At least I hope it’s yours. She wouldn’t say. I swear it isn’t mine.”   
That made Lily chuckle. The ancient lady next door definitely thought James had moved out and that Lily had very quickly moved on with Sirius.   
She finally found her voice, but it came out smaller than she intended. “It’s true, James. We’re… I’m pregnant.” She hid her face behind her hands, praying Morgana that tears wouldn’t start falling down her cheeks.   
“Lily,” James said softly, his expression impossible to read. He was on her a moment later, hands on her shoulders, watching her up close.   
“How are we feeling about this?” Sirius asked, impatient as ever.   
“We’re feeling like it may be time for you to leave, Padfoot.” He looked again at Lily, “Lily and I need to talk.”   
Mercifully, Sirius didn’t argue this time. “I’ll be here for breakfast tomorrow. So that you can go to Dumbledore and I’ll stay with her.”   
She wanted to scream. She had let Sirius play at being her shadow these weeks because she was lonely and appreciated his company, not because she was pregnant or sick or in need. There was nothing wrong with her, not yet at least. Instead, she held her tongue because she knew now that anything she’d say, both men would attribute to hormones.   
When their friend was gone, James gently led her to the couch and sat facing her. “What do you think?”   
Why couldn’t things be easy with them for once? Why couldn’t James say how he felt about this, so that she could make up her damn mind? When had she been so indecisive about anything?   
“Lily, I don’t know how to say this… without sounding like I’m trying to influence you. Believe me, I am thrilled at the idea of having a baby with you. I used to dream about this, for Merlin’s sake. But you don’t look happy, and if you feel that you’re not ready or don’t ever want this, I completely understand.”   
Ever? She was taken aback by that. “What are you saying?”   
James looked nearly… shy? “That I don’t have to go through months of pregnancy and the torture of childbirth. I think it’s only fair that you get to choose. If you think that we’re too young, or that this… this war is not the right time to raise a baby, or that you simply don’t want it, I’ll stand by you and I’ll love you through it all, whatever decision you make.”   
“Are you suggesting that we get rid of the baby?”   
“If that’s what you want. It’s your choice. No, it’s your right, Lily.”   
She released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “I thought we were going to have to fight about this. Badly. That I was going to beg you to forgive me for wanting to…” Lily paused, looking for the right words, then his words hit him, and she chuckled nervously. “What does a pureblood wizard know about women’s rights? Aren’t you lot taught that we are just broodmares?”   
James didn’t appreciate the irony. He was serious now, all traces of shyness gone. “The muggles are advocating for abortion these days.”  
“What do you know about –”   
“You’d be surprised the things they teach in NEWT-level Muggle Studies.” He seemed lost in thought for a moment, then resumed on his path. “Seriously, Lil. You take your time and think about what you want. What you think is best goes for me.”   
“You’re really letting me choose?”   
James finally touched her for the first time since they’d sat and cupped her cheek more gently than she remembered him ever doing. “I married you, Lily. Because I love you. Not the prospect of babies. I knew full well this wasn’t an option when I proposed. Both times.”   
She didn’t know how much time passed before she found the courage to speak. Her voice shook, but she didn’t expect it not to. “What you say is… tempting. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine having more than an option. But with you, James, everything has been a choice. I used to feel trapped, but never with you.”   
“Well, my love, it is almost the 80s. Women should have the right to choose by now.”   
She knew she was fully crying now, this time with no intention of hiding her tears. “I’m really glad I gave you a second chance, James Potter.”   
“I still can’t believe you did. Sometimes I have nightmares you’ll realize how much better off you are without me and leave.”   
“James, we’re married. I’m not going to leave you.”   
“So? Muggles also have divorce. You could go live as a muggle and hide from this war, Godric knows sometimes I half-wish you would.”   
They’d had a more serious version of this conversation countless times. Now was not the time for a rematch. So instead she chuckled through the tears. “I wouldn’t go live as a muggle. Sirius and I have plans to elope to America the moment you look the other way.”   
He faked offense. “And are you planning on Sirius raising our child, in this scenario?”   
The thought made Lily smile. “Precisely. He was already pretending the baby was his.” At that, James jumped to grab her arm, then thought better of it, as if that could somehow hurt the baby, then realized how silly that was. She went into his arms gladly and wished she could freeze that moment. No war, no uncertain future, just James and her. Safe, healthy, and happy, in their modest cottage in Godric’s Hollow, the house she had chosen for them over the Potters’ manor in the country or James’s gigantic London flat.   
And in that moment right there, she knew. She didn’t even need to take a deep breath, because this choice didn’t feel like a leap into open air, or a dive in uncertain waters.   
She took a deep breath to brace herself for her next words. “We’re having this baby. I still don’t know how I am not sterile after what Bellatrix did to my abdomen two years ago… I confess I wouldn’t want to have a baby now, if I could help it. If I had known I could be pregnant, I would’ve… taken precautions.”   
James shook his head gravely. “We should’ve been careful. I’m as much to blame.”   
She could not take the look of pure guilt in his hazel eyes. “But James, the healers were so sure. They told me it wasn’t a possibility for me. The one good thing that came out of Bellatrix nearly breaking me is that we didn’t have to be careful…”   
He gripped her arms tighter. “Lily—”   
“So if against all odds, we still managed to conceive a baby… if my body miraculously managed to heal itself to the point of creating life, this must mean something. It’s a sign, James. I’m not going to lie to you. I probably would resort to aborting in different circumstances.”  
He did not speak, letting her pick her words with extra care.   
“I’m not ready to be a mother and I’m scared shitless of this war and you know I’m not even particularly fond of children… I mean, did you see me with Sirius’s niece? She hated me.” She shook the thought of little Nymphadora Tonks from her mind. “And I don’t even want to think about giving birth right now,” she shrugged as if to keep this much more painful thought away too. “If it had been a matter of not being careful enough, I would get rid of it tomorrow, James. But everything about this surreal situation tells me we need to keep it.”   
His gaze was even more intense. Lily was certain he would blow a hole between her eyes. “You’re sure? You can always change your mind, love.”   
There was nothing careful about the way she loved him. She tried to convey just how much that with her eyes and hands. “I am. Even if we’re going to make rubbish parents. We’re too young. And this kid isn’t going to have grandparents to fix our mistakes.”   
“It’s going to have an army of uncles and aunts who will love it,” James said sweetly. “I hope you Marauders don’t corrupt my baby, Potter.”   
“Oh? Now it’s suddenly your baby, Evans?”   
“It’s Mrs. Potter,” she said sweetly. “You really want me to confess Sirius is the father, don’t you?”   
James abruptly stood, lifted her up and spun her around, laughing. “Say that one more time and you’ll regret it sorely, wife.” His playfully menacing tone didn’t scare her.   
No, Lily wasn’t afraid. This was the continuation of a road they had chosen, a walk in uncharted territory maybe, but one that they could face with four feet on the ground and two hearts beating as one. Three, soon. They had survived Voldemort three times. They could survive parenting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!  
> I always publish a Jily at the end of October so we can all cry together. This was my first pregnancy fic, and I have more ideas that I could actually write in a potential chapter 3, so let me know if you'd like that.  
> For the proposal James mentioned in the story, you can read my other story "upsetting a perfectly good plan." 
> 
> Happy Halloween, Jily Fam. Like every year, RIP James and Lily. The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Let me know in the comments. Let me know if you hated it too.  
> I wasn't sure if I wanted James to come home in this chapter/part, then opted not to. I have everything written and will publish everything soon, but I would love to hear what you think of this, and what you hope will happen. How will James find out? How will he react? 
> 
> Until the next part - which I might post as a separate story because it could work as a standalone too - follow me on Twitter (@ladymultifandom) and Tumblr (ohnotoomanyfandoms.tumblr.com) and stay updated on all my fandom ramblings :D 
> 
> Happy #JilyOctober. See you soon!


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